How to Prepare for the End of Your Internship

Your summer internship is coming to a close. Here are some tips on how to go out on a high note.

1. When they ask you if you enjoyed your summer, lie through your teeth and say yes. If you say no, you open yourself open to a lot of questions and HR will put you on their list called "People We Hate and Will Make Their Lives Miserable." P.S. the list is cross-corporation. It's more of an international database so once you're there - you can kiss any other internships goodbye.
2. When asked "what could we change to make your internship more enjoyable?" say things like:
• Improve the hiring process. I waited longer for an offer here than with other places.
• Provide better sandwiches at the Intern Events.
• Provide donuts every morning for interns.
• Teach us how to golf and eat at buffets - useful skills in the real life business world.
• Give us access to the corporate credit card
3. When giving an end of year presentation, they will ask you what lessons you have learned. We recommend paraphrasing song lyrics/poetic phrases in response:
• You can't always get what you want
• Nobody's perfect, I gotta work it
• Be the change you want to see in the workplace
• R-E-S-P-E-C-T
• been workin' so hard, I'm punchin' my card. 8 hours for what? Oh tell me what I've got
• Working hard or hardly working
• don't judge a book by its cover
• mess with a bull, get the horns
4. Take as many notebooks and pens from the office with you as you can.
5. Make a batch of super nasty cookies and force your co-workers to eat them on your last day for your goodbye party.
6. Take all the paper towels and toilet paper from the bathrooms.
7. Take the awards you printed off the internet for your online accomplishments and give them to your co-workers saying, "here, I would like for you to have this."
8. Print off fake parking tickets and plaster all the cars.
9. Place signs saying "Reserved for Intern of the Week" on all the front row parking places.
10. Send out an extremely emotional goodbye email to your managers and co-workers. Include fond memories of them loaning you a pencil that meant so much and tell them they are like a father/mother figure to you.
11. Ask for all letters of recommendation before you do any of these things.

good luck #interns. #almostdone.