How to Answer the "What Are You Doing?" Question

An intern's enemy: the "what are you working on" question. We discussed how to appear productive, but what do you say when your productivity is verbally doubted?

More often than not you don't have a good honest answer because you're not actually working on anything work-related. Or maybe you just don't want to explain the random obscure project you've recently been assigned. Or maybe you want to make your internship position sound way cooler than it is. So, we've compiled a list of vague, important-sounding answers that will qualify as a satisfactory answer to "what are you doing?".

1. Market research. Every job can trace ties to the market, so there should be no doubt that you are just trying to understand the context of your job.
2. Quality assurance. Every business wants quality and nobody can claim it's not your job to ensure quality products/services are being produced.
3. Anything with the word "vector." An answer with direction AND magnitude.
4. Internal communications. This is vague and extremely undefined but nobody can argue that business communications are almost always sub-par.
5. Looking for Bill, Dave, or Jen. Avoid last names. Then answer your phone saying "Hi [insert name of person you just mentioned].... okay.... I'll be right there." And say excuse me, "I've found him/her" and exit.
6. Ironing out design flaws. There's always flaws. And nobody wants to get involved so they will likely come up with an excuse to leave when you use this answer.
7. Updating the database. No idea what that means.
8. Analyzing the data we just got from the folks downstairs. This answer makes your fake task sound as boring as possible so they won't dig any deeper.
9. Charter writing and development. Most people hate writing business documents and will flee from any mention of it.
10. Editing this document for _________.  insert person/program that the asker does not like/get along with.